Memories of Love, Memories of Hate
by Aeris Ennui
Summary: A Zelphie. Selphie's always happy, and willing to forgive. To most.
1. Background (part 1)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Squaresoft owns. All. I just think strange things.  
  
*sigh* "Mess, mess, mess, that's all there is. Here I am, new school, new life, a chance to start again and have a BLAST.. so why can't I just learn to live?!"  
  
The disgruntled 17-year-old flopped herself down on her bed. Looking around, Selphie groaned, noticing the state of disarray already invading her new dorm. "I can't even be here ONE DAY without my whole world becoming a complete. MESS!" Selphie threw herself down on the bed- the only clean space in the room. After taking a deep breath, she began to calm down. "Alright. Now, I have two choices. I can sort things or thoughts.. and right now, things is probably safer." Not wanting to deal with the overwhelming thoughts about her first day, she gave in, and began to half- heartedly organize the random items strewn around her floor. "I really shouldn't be unpacking so much. what if I become a SeeD?! I'll just be moving to my own room anyway!" With that thought, the happy-go- lucky, petite brunette started re-packing. "Oh great, now I can't remember what goes where!!!!! I need a book. Actually, I need some chocolate and some friends, but there's always time for that later." Digging around in a heavy box of books, Selphie came upon a collection of old journals- 6 or 7, of various sizes and designs, each at least halfway empty. She stops digging, and pulls out the first three. "Wow. Look at this. My life seems so.. so.. incomplete." Each entry was cut off abruptly, lacking a closing or an end. Poems lay unfinished and forgotten, as if she had suddenly remembered something more important she should have been doing. Resolved, Selphie decided it was about time to complete an entry. And what better day to write down? After all, it was a day she'd never forget- her first day at Balamb Garden, the day before her SeeD exam, and the day she met him.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
3.14 22:51  
  
Oh, Hyne, I saw (and met!!) the most GORGEOUS BOY in the WORLD. Booyaka! When I ran into him the first time.. I humiliated myself.. I can't talk to him! But then I went on autopilot and.. ohhh.. I can't stop thinking about him!!!!! Zell Dincht.. Zell Zell Zell.. Zell and Selphie.. Mrs. Selphie Dincht.. Mmm. He has these big, beautiful eyes.. a calm, ocean blue. and wild spiky blonde hair.. and he has a wild tattoo on his face- which just adds to his adorable face!!!!! I found out he likes hot dogs. I hope that I can eventually bring up the courage to..  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
By then, Selphie had completely forgotten what she was intending on writing. It was growing late, and she needed her rest for the SeeD exam the next day. She crawled into bed after her nightly toilette, with Zell on her mind all the time. "What was it I was writing?" she thought to herself in the dark. "I hope." Truthfully, she was hoping for a lot.  
  
Author Note: Hee hee. ^_^ Review. Flame me as much as you can. Do it. Satan commands you.  
  
In all seriousness, this is my first FF8 fanfic, and I know, for now it's short and it sucks. But more should be added.. ehh, daily? I have lots of time. ^_^ Thanks. 


	2. Background (part 2)

Author's Note: Alright. Let's get.. dangerous? No, that's Darkwing Duck.  
  
*Whatever.*  
  
Again.. me=owns nothing. Square=owns all. (YAYIES I REMEMBER ALGEBRA!) -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
3.15 12:32  
  
Since I have a moment after lunch, I'll just jot down some things.  
  
My first day as an official Balamb Garden student, and I missed homeroom. ;_; I wish this place weren't so humongous.. Trabia seems like a shoebox in comparison! After missing homeroom, I ran into this guy.. he was pretty cute, but not compared to.. anyway. He showed me around, helped me find places. The other students are nice, but.. Well, I should get to know a lot of people soon- I'm now head of the Garden Festival!!! Anyway.. I found the cafeteria right around lunch.. Everyone's right, the hot dogs ARE really good, and I don't even LIKE hot dogs in general... but then guess who walked in?!!? Poor Zelly, he was last in line.. and the guy in front of him got the last one!! I almost cried, why hadn't I gotten something else, my hot dog could have been Zell's!!!! Oh well, he's really, really cute when he gets angry!! ^_^ Wait! He's ALWAYS really, really cute!!! I have another 15 minutes until the SeeD exam.. Booyaka, I hope I do well!! SeeD!!!! I've been training for sooo long.. I hear Zell's taking the exam too, I hope we're in the same squad.. Ohh, foreign missions, battles with Zell by my side... I know it probably won't happen but there's always...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Just then, an announcement was broadcast over the intercom.  
  
"Would all students taking today's SeeD examination please report to the first floor lobby? Thank you." ------------------ "Heya, Zell!!!" Selphie squealed. "Remember me?!"  
  
"Oh, of course, hi, Selphie." Zell blushed and put his right hand behind his head, a nervous habit of his.  
  
"So, uhh.. will you join the Garden Festival committee? This year's gonna."  
  
"Hey, they're announcing squads.. good luck! I hope we both become SeeDs!" Zell was obviously glad to have an excuse to leave the Garden Festival question unanswered. Running over to Professor Trepe, who had called his name, along with Squall Leonhart, the boy who had shown her around earlier. Zell flashed Selphie his most adorable smile and waved.  
  
"Please, Professor Trepe, call me, call me!!!" Selphie tried her best to send subliminal messages to the young teacher, but to no avail. She watched on the verge of tears as a tall, strong, blond boy strode up to the group and claimed the role of captain. Soon, Selphie heard her name called by a different instructor, one she had not yet met. "Selphie Tilmitt.. your role for the SeeD test will be. messenger. You will be responsible for updating your squad and others should any urgent information arise."  
  
"Well," thought Selphie, "there's always the chance that I'll need to relay a message to Zell!!!!" *~*~*~*~*~* 3.15 20:12  
  
Ohhh. today, I could have died. from joy!!! Not only did I take a message to Zell's group.. I fought in 2 battles with he and Squall!!! I saw him draw his first GF, he was so happy. He is such a wonderful guy.. and so smart and cute and an amazing fighter. Selphie and Zell FOREVER!!!  
  
Oh, yeah. I'm now a SeeD!! And so is ZELL!!! And Squall and Nida. Booyaka!!! Oh, Zell is sooo handsome when he's happy!!! And we were joking around and hugging each other after we found out.. oh, I belong in his arms!!! Selphie Tilmitt-Dincht. Zell Dincht-Tilmitt. Aah! Zell Zell Zell.. Speaking of which, it's almost time for the SeeD BALL!!!!! I'd better get ready, and dressed in my NEW SeeD UNIFORM!!! Yayaya. And Zell will be there, so I have to look extra special! I think I still  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Forgetting to finish, Selphie jumped off the bed and started madly running around the already messy room. "Oh well! I'll be in a different room soon anyway, a room to myself!!! Now I just need some makeup. just a little, I don't want to be too overdone! And where's my brush.. and that perfume, guys always say they like it, oh, that will drive him WILD!..."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~* 3.16 1:37  
  
The ball was.. oh. Yay! I am in love. And dead tired. Although Zell doesn't want to help with the Garden Festival (jerk!) he DID dance with me.. twice! I couldn't help but wonder where Squall was all night.. I did want to dance with him at least once.. I saw him dance with a girl in an ivory dress.. she was beautiful! I met her later, her name is Rinoa, and she's from Timber. She's really nice, I hope I see her again!! But then, he left the ball.. and I didn't see him the rest of the night! But that's okay because Zell and I spent a lot of time laughing and dancing.. We are so alike!! We're both short and hyper and fun! I had to teach him how to dance, but I'm not very good either.. so most of the dancing was really stepping on feet and laughing. but I don't care. I melt every time I see his smile!!!  
  
Seeing your soul For the very first time I felt like I was a part of you And you had been with me forever You haunt my dreams And now I love to sleep So that I can be with you -----------------------  
  
Author's Note: I hate to leave anyone who reads this with such short chapters, but. It's just time to stop. I promise more later. 


	3. A New Student..

A/N: Alrighties!! With that out of the way, onto the REAL story. I just wanted to give a picture of when Selphie first had a crush on Zell. I don't need to go through the entire game in her POV, do I? Do I?!!? Because I really don't want to. So. Now, the story takes place after the game, after the 'Sorceress War part 2' (my friends and I have a thing for parts. My friend's history teacher almost failed him on a mid-term for writing "World War part 2". Mmmhmm.) Couple months later, back at Garden. Selphie and Zell are instructors, along with Quistis. Irvine does nothing, but has chosen to stay at Balamb Garden, and no one seems to mind. Rinoa's working at becoming a SeeD. Squallie's the head commander. I know this is a lot like other fanfics, but.. Hopefully, it will eventually morph into its own. Enjoy! (Oh yes. One more thing. Slight Rinoa-bashing. Sorry. Flame me if you hate it, and if enough people complain, I'll change it.) End.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Tick. Tick. Tick.  
  
"I have been here, in this class, for hours," Selphie thought. "Please, be over soon." It had been a long day, well, an average day, really. Every day was a long day as an Instructor. Grading papers, teaching young SeeD- hopefuls, giving tests- none of this was what Selphie had in mind. After the war, they were all heroes- rightfully, she thought- they had saved the world. Yet Balamb Garden seemed to be the only place that felt right. She was here, sharing her knowledge with tomorrow's SeeDs, while still getting chances to see her friends. But something was bothering her, constantly. There was somewhere else she should be... Lost in thought, Selphie was oblivious to the note-passing, whispering and various antics from the students who had finished their tests early.  
  
*RIIIIIIING*  
  
"Booy-erm, class, pass in your exams. I hope you did your best, so now it's over, enjoy the weekend!" The class cheered and left in a hurry. Everyone in the Garden was ready for some fun during the long weekend- Monday would be the first day off in a long time, a holiday in honor of some forgotten General. Even Selphie had almost shouted 'Booyaka!' when the bell rang. After all, she was only a couple years older than her students. Sometimes it was hard not to just be, well, one of them. Collecting papers, organizing them to be graded during a spare moment, Selphie sighed happily. She couldn't wait to have a great weekend in Balamb with her friends. Everyone was going, even Squall. She was looking forward to catching up with Quistis and Rinoa, and seeing Ma Dincht again.. Zell. A weekend with Zell. It always came down to that. When she had everything in order, she turned off the lights, and walked out the door. While she was rounding the corner to take the elevator down, she was watching the floor pattern. *smack* "Owies! Hey, watch where.. Oh! Squall. I, well, I.. Hiii!! I'm so so sorry!!! I should probably watch where I'm going next time and not watch the floor tiles but they're sooo fascinating! Have you ever.." "Selphie. I need to talk to you. We've just received a new student." "Oooh yay!! A boy or girl? How old?! From where?" Selphie loved new people, and always tried to make them feel right at home. "Selphie. If you'd just stop for a minute, I might tell you about it." "Ohh, right. Sorry, I'll stop talking now. Go ahead." "Thank you. Now. There are two reasons I need to discuss this with you. First, this student will be in your class starting Monday." "Tuesday," Selphie said, under her breath. "Excuse me?" Squall's train of thought had obviously been derailed momentarily. "Tuesday. Er, there is no class Monday. Day off?" Selphie grinned. "You are still coming with us, aren't you, Squall?" The commander finally smiled. "Yes, I'm coming. I'd forgotten that was THIS weekend, though.. Now. The OTHER reason, unless you'd rather not pay attention?" Selphie looked up and met Squall's gaze, which had turned back to his usual expression- businesslike and stern. She had been daydreaming about the weekend and Zell, not really listening to Squall, but with presence of mind enough to say, "Go ahead, I'm listening.." "Good. Now. The other reason. This student is preparing to become a SeeD. She has decided to transfer from Trabia. And Selphie, deduction tells me.. you already know her. Well." Selphie was curious at that last piece of information. "But.. but all my Trabia friends would have been out of Garden by now.. I mean, I was friends with everyone, but.. well? I suppose it could be ANYONE... Okay, who is it?" "Her name is Amelie. Amelie Tilmitt." Selphie's face lost its usual sunny grin. She turned pale, and her expression turned to anger. "Wh.. what is SHE doing HERE!? She.. oh.. I need to go." And with that, she burst out in tears and ran down the hall. Squall called after her, a bit worried. He walked away, thinking about how he was not the right person to handle an upset Selphie. Suddenly, it occurred to him- who was this Amelie to Selphie, anyway? Why had Selphie gone from shock to hate? And who would be the best person to calm her down..  
  
*************************************************************  
  
Rinoa and Quistis were walking down the hall, having just gotten out of class. They were chatting about various things- the upcoming Balamb trip, Rinoa's progress, a rumor about the real ingredients of the Garden's hot dogs- why were they so good? And why was Zell so addicted? They were waiting for the elevator to arrive when they met up with Squall. While he usually looked worried, he seemed to really have something on his mind at that moment. "Hi, sweetie! What's the problem?" Rinoa greeted him, with a hug. He looked at her and Quistis. "Hi, Rinny. Quistis. Um.. Selphie has a problem. Can you help? She's, uh, crying.. I think she went to her room.. um.." "Squallie! What happened?!" "Well, um, I'm not quite sure, you should go check on her.." Squall was trying to show he cared about Selphie, after all, she was one of his closest friends. But even with Rinoa, maybe especially because of Rinoa, he just didn't understand girls. They wanted romance, presents, understanding.. but then they'd cry! They cried when they were happy, they cried when they were sad.. and then, like this, they'd cry for no reason! He suddenly drifted back to listen to the girls talking about the situation. He knew they'd know what to do. "..she's usually so happy! We should go." "Wait. Rinoa. Who would Selphie want to cheer her up? Who makes her giggle and grin and blush and who can always make her feel better, no matter what?" "Ummm, Boko?" "Oh, Hyne, Rinoa. Okay, let's try for a PERSON." "Umm.. oh, I dunno! Irvine?" "No, Rinoa. We want her to be happy again, not miserable and devirginized." "So.. who?" "ZELL." "Oh, yeah, I was about to mention him..." "Um, sure you were. Now! You go take Squall and pack for Balamb. I'll go find Zell and see if he'll talk to Selphie for us." "Can't I find Zell and YOU take Squall and pack?" "No, Rinoa. You are his girlfriend. I am not. Do you understand?" "But.." "You're really a moron, aren't you?" "SQUALLIE!! WAH." Rinoa ran off in tears, dragging Squall behind her. Quistis just grinned and stepped into the elevator. "Works every time," she thought, "But she always forgets right away when you insult her. What a poor, simpleminded fool." ******************************************************************  
  
Zell was in his dorm room, trying to grade papers. "Dude. I didn't even know this junk when I was a student." The first part was easy, the answers were clear on the answer key. But the essays were difficult for him. He struggled through, trying to make corrections as best he could. He knew that he'd have to grovel later, to convince someone else to check his work. All the kids loved Zell, but he knew half the class only admired him because he helped win the Second Sorceress War. He could hear them all too well when they snickered. He always had to check his facts before explaining something. He'd hate to have to go back and correct something he'd taught, but.. He'd never been a great student. He worked fairly hard, sure, but things didn't come as easy to him as to other people. Zell was more of a.. hands-on learner, which many students enjoyed. But he couldn't teach them everything through experience. Balamb Garden's curriculum, much to his chagrin, was devoted to rote memorization. He did have a lot of experience with the things he was teaching, except.. Trying to explain the feelings, the experiences, well.. it was difficult for him. Yet Zell was a hard worker, and grateful for his job, so he kept at it. Kept grading.. for what seemed like days..  
  
*knock, knock*  
  
"Yes!" Zell thought, "Finally an interruption! Maybe someone read my thoughts and came to help me grade." He got up and went to the door. He opened it a teeny bit and saw Quistis, standing there looking impatient and in a hurry, her usual charisma. He let her inside and motioned to a chair, grinning insanely the whole time. "Awright, Quistis! You are the one person I really wanted to see! Well.. uh, for help." "Help, Zell? You don't mean..." Quistis lost her strict look for an anguished one. Last time Zell asked her help, she was up until 4:30 am grading his test papers.. "Well, you see, uh, I'm really not good at grading, and, you're, um, such a great instructor and all, I just thought ya could do me a small favor... just this once... Please?" Zell was trying his best to be sincere, and he looked up to meet Quistis' glare. He gave her an adorable grin, and she softened a bit. "Okay, Zell, just this once.. again. But. I need a favor in return. That's why I'm here." "No prob, whatcha need me for? I mean, you're savin' my ass, least I can do..." Quistis debated whether or not to tell Zell how Selphie felt about him. She knew Selphie wouldn't do it on her own, but- did she want Zell to know? Quistis hated getting pulled into things like this, she never really knew what to say. "Zell, how do you feel about Selphie? Emotionally, I mean. Do you.. like her?" "Selphie? How could anyone NOT like Selphie? Well, besides Seifer, who hates just about everyone, and Squall who thinks she's annoying... Selphie's a great girl. So what were you gonna ask me for help with? That can't be it." "Zell, I need you to go talk to Selphie. She's crying for some unknown reason, and, well. I just know you're the only one here who could cheer her up... and maybe find out just what's going on." "Um.. crying.. Selphie.. girl.. Aw, man! But then.. Yeah. She'd do the same for me.. ya know, if I was crying. Not that I cry or anything." Zell did his best to look tough, at which Quistis started laughing so hard she was in tears. "Alright, Zell, thanks a lot." "Oh, yeah, Quis, here are the test papers. And thank YOU." Zell shoved them into her arms and ran off in the direction of the girls' dorms. Quistis stood in Zell's dorm for a minute and sighed. "How do I get into things like this..." 


End file.
